| Tuesday, December 06, 2005 |
| What's up with Lilith anyways? |
So you're probably like, "I hear there was this fly chick who Adam was down with before Eve, but who is this cat?"
Well, lemme tell you.
Her name is Lilith. She was a fiesty bitch, to say the least. Adam was all about the missionary, but Lilith wasn't having any of that. So, she took off to do her own thing. Adam was bummed. He was like, "God, wtf? I want Lilith back." and god was like, "Hmm. ok." and he sent three angels down to straighten her out.
So, these three angels, Senoy, Sansenoy, and Semangelof, find Lilith and they're like, "We're gonna off 100 of your babies every day if you don't get back to your man." Lilith told 'em where they could stick it, of course. She said she was gonna go eat babies and fuck sleeping guys, but any baby who invoked one of the angels' names would be ok by her. She had a weird code that way.
After that, she fucked around with some demons and maybe even our man Lucifer. She churned out 100 babies every day (to spite God and those damnable angels) and they filled the world with evil. She had her way with men while they slept, and killed babies all up and down the Tigris and Euphrates.
So now you're probably like, "Oh! What a happenin' bitch. The more you know."
For real.
Labels: history |
posted by JavaBomberman @ 3:16 AM   |
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| 1 Comments: |
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Enter cheesy "The More You Know" theme music here.
I knew all that stuff about Eve was a lie...everyone knows that a girl wouldn't REALLY sleep with the last man on earth. Or the first.
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Enter cheesy "The More You Know" theme music here.
I knew all that stuff about Eve was a lie...everyone knows that a girl wouldn't REALLY sleep with the last man on earth. Or the first.